i matter vs. my role matters

when i think to myself about whether i matter a lot, i often involuntarily tell myself i have to be special to matter.

i have to be a unique, rockstar software engineer. or i have to be a special and incredible son. or i simply have to be great in life.

i was reading about Hmong society in a book though, and the author talks about how their it's not that a person matters, it's that their role matters.

it matters that you're a good wife or mother, but you don't individually have to matter.

i find this incredibly freeing. you then get credit for playing your role well, which is achievable, and still fulfilling.

my role matters. so, i'll be a good product manager for my team and company. i'll be a good ENFP and contribute to the social ecosystem. i'll be a good son to my parents, i'll be a good brother to my brother. i'll be a good friend to my friends. i'll be a good husband to my future wife.

and that'll be enough. my role matters, so i matter.